Summer of heat!

Our lives haven't been CRAZY per say lately---bit DIFFERENT from the one we have known in the past--so I will try to update as best I can with the insanity!

• First, the girls (including my niece Mattie--my "other daughter") and I got to take a trip to North Carolina. Our friend Jodi was going on a mission to Denver--so it finally was justified. On the way we got to stop and see Ashly (my life long best friend and her crew) It had been over two years since we had been to NC and it's amazing how some relationships are still the same --and when you leave there is a small piece of your heart that stays there. It was especially sweet (and heart wrenching)when Bill (Torie's "buddy" from birth) and Torie said good-bye. He would pick my big 9 year old up and hug her and hold her. She kept saying after how much she missed him. It's time like these that you realize the impact of those early years.



• Torie took a 2 week trip to visit her Great grandparents (My Mom's parents) and my Aunt. My parent's were heading out there and Torie had mentioned wanting to visit Aunt Carol (she really adores Carol) --so she got to fly out with them and have quite a vacation. She got to see the jelly belly factory (much to my pleasure as I have been living on the bag of "belly flops" since she returned), San Francisco, tons of swimming, movies and fun with my cousins Tara and Nick..(who are in their 20's so I was very impressed with all the amazing things they did with her-) It was a good time for her.


• Meanwhile at home--it was Alyssa and I...oh wait and Hunney (my parent's 9 month old puppy) --Jason was ocassionally around but in reality the strike is still on and we see him very little- I digress---Hunney is very cute---however, she is the center of my Dad's world and spoiled rotten. I felt like I had another child...she chewed my new laptop cord, terrorized my cats, and whined incestantly...after one week she went to stay with Samantha. No dog for me. She was so cute and sweet, but I didn't need a whiney extra child:)


• So that is where we stand---well for now. I am hangin' in there and looking forward to a new school year for the girls---it has been a summer of fighting and high demands--so I will glady send Torie to 4th grade and Alyssa to pre-school for one more year!

Stronger than I think?

Sometimes in life I think we truly underestimate ourselves. I was pleasantly suprised to find that has been the case with my hubby being gone all the time now. I always thought that I would fall apart and not be able to handle anything...but I have and to myself amazingly well. House is relatively clean...kids as well, and although we miss Jason around here...we are all generally happy. Dinner is a lot different, unfortunately a lot of eating out (but not large expensive places and Huge meals). However it doesn't seem to make sense to cook when generally half of what I make is consumed by someone who isn't here. Food is wasted and cost as much as an easy meal at Taco Bell. (Plus I really hate dishes--) Nights are different as well as I never know whether I have an extra body in the bed, with him working nights some. At first I was allowing the kids to take turns in the bed or on the floor...but between Alyssa's need to be so close that she pushes you off the bed and Victoria's loud talking in her sleep...I was getting NO sleep. So Game off. It is also amazing how much more Jason and I seem to enjoy one another's company, as it seems like it is so rare these days.
On another note...weight loss and exercise unfortunately has taken a back burner. After vacation it seems that I lost all motivation...between girls sick and no Jason I lost focus. On the other hand I have miraculously managed to maintain the loss I have had---which has gotten me 1/3 the way to my total goal. Still a long ways left...but a significant loss and wonderful to have to get rid of clothes that sag on me---YEA! So I am going to try and commit to a better effort in that area...it'll have to start with the gym and the food from there. All in all I am amazed that something must have changed in my eating patterns otherwise it would all start returning and that hasn't happened. Again---YEA! What a myriad of thoughts...but that is how my brain works...btw--ever noticed you accidently put the wrong song on your playlist--I was just listening and was like "What the heck is this?" ---Certainly not the song I had thought I put! Oh well!

Computer problems=No blog update..SERIOUSLY!

So about six months ago our computer went down...much to my dismay...after my Brother-in-law Ben fixed it for us...overall it was much better...however one problem now existed. Logging onto blogspot and reading anyone else's or updating my own was next to impossible. Now with our new laptop -YEA YEA YEA! I am able to blog again. And hopefully with accessibility being simplified--more often.
I am not sure where to start or end. Discovering that people actually DO read my blog and just don't comment was at least refreshing...however complaints were more pictures, more entries...but shorter entries for those who are reading ESL! There you have it Kik's!
Six months of my life simplified in a few short sentences. This year has been busy and productive. Alyssa and I went on a rendezvous to California and Utah in mid-April. We were able to visit my grandparents, my Aunt Carol and her fam, and my Dad's Uncle and his cousins while in California. Then we headed to Utah where we saw Jason's parents, and several dear friends. It was a quick but refreshing trip to Utah. It was wonderful to spend time around friends who made you feel like a million bucks and help you remember who you were BEFORE you became a mom and wife. Since returning home my hubby has been dealing with a Union Strike at work--causing him TONS of extra work hours as he is Non-Union and considered management. Meanwhile each girl brought home a different ailment each week for me--Torie pnuemonia and Alyssa a virus with a nice high temp. We recovered well and I am attempting to return to what one may consider a normal life...with a husband who puts in 60-70 hours a week...but I won't complain since it is temporary and the overtime will cover our trip to Disneyworld come Fall. We are anticipating a few other trips this summer..but for now this will have to be my update:)

Is it time yet?

I have actually had a lot on my mind these past few weeks and believe it or not...I have been thinking I would like to blog. The past few weeks I have tried to make some changes in my life...and I hope that these things are actually beginning to be in the process...let me explain.
Obviously if you know me, you will know that I am very obsessed with my weight. Always have been. As a young teen I struggled a little with eating disorders and being thin was all that mattered. It wasn't until things in my life had settled down , I was better in control of my OCD and was earning self trust, that I begin to "let myself go". I became a big emotional eater...as a teen when stressed I would not eat as food was the enemy, but during college it begin to pack on....and became the way I dealt with stress. What most people that are thin don't know or understand until they experiencing weight gain is the shame that comes with it. I had no idea of the hurt or pain that many heavy adults I knew were experiencing that. I have never excluded another because of weight gain, however I seem to have a different set of standards for myself and deny myself feeling happy and deserving of good things because of my own shortcomings. That being said...I have come to a turning point in my life or at least I hope so.

This was not a "New Year's Resolution" as I really stopped believing in those after so many have failed for me...this is what I am hoping is a lifetime resolution, and I already can feel and in a small way see the benefits. I have began more faithfully doing Weight Watchers..I hate the idea of counting points every day for the rest of my life, but I see it as I would rather do that than continue to be unable to do some things I want to with my children. In addition, I have started going to the gym...it has now been 5 weeks and it seems that the effects are starting to finally kick in. I am amazed that I am getting things done...and although I still fight the dark battle of depression, I am able to do the things I know will keep it from swallowing me whole. I feel like there is hope and it has been a while since I believed...really believed I could lose weight and like who I see in the mirror. I know it starts on the inside..but some of the shame that you experience from major weight gain begins to lessen as you regain that control. SOOO...if you are at the point I was even just a few months ago...hang in there...give it your all, it's worth it. And that is my thought for the day. What life changing habits have you created that make you a happier person?

Catching up...at least trying...

I realize it has been a while--and in fact several months--I have thought many times as things have been going on "Wow, I need to blog about that.." great ideas...however..VERY poor follow through. So I will try and recap the last three months, forgive me as my memory disappears with each year!

• We celebrated Halloween--the girls had a great time--Alyssa was a baby at one event and a dog at another, while Victoria was a "fancy" Vampire. They got their LOAD of candy which is still by some miracle lingering around our home! At what point one tosses it I am not sure---but I do believe we are VERY close to that point!
• We went to San Destin, Florida for Thanksgiving. My parents rented a place for us all to stay and spend a Thanksgiving away from home. Not all my siblings were able to make it, but Denae/Ben and crew (and Ben's mom and step-dad), Aaron, and kids, my parents, Matalyn (Matt's oldest) and our fam all got to go. It was a fun experience. The girls LOVED searching for shells and Torie even spent a lot of time freezing her bootie off in the ocean. They have been begging to go to Florida again. We ate at Cracker Barrel for dinner which was a fun change and had a nice time! Thanks Mom and Dad!
• We joined the St. Peters Rec-Plex. It is a local sports/exercixe facility very near by. We swam the first night and went ice skating the next. However, on the second night, Alyssa fell and Jason's ice skate managed to go over her middle right finger cutting a tendon. It required surgery and stitches. She did great during surgery and is recovering nicely. We are grateful that my parents have a plastic surgeon in their ward (Brent Stromberg) who really made the whole process a lot easier on us parents!
• We celebrated a nice Christmas and my grandparents got to be here from California. It was a nice Christmas we all got "fun" stuff and enjoyed one another, despite the fact I felt a bit like scrooge this year.

All in all the last few months although eventful have been very good and we are looking forward to a wonderful 2010! I will try to blog more often (AND NO IT'S NOT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!) and will even do an ODE to a sibling, just for you Denae! A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Pictures to come of Lys's finger and my parents new puppy!