Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Missing: brain
Mmmhh I am wondering where it is I last saw my brain. I like to think that I once had one, but lately I am wondering if that was ever the case. It seems these last two weeks I have grown dumber than I ever thought possible. I can hardly think straight, hence writing any type of blogging is next to impossible, and yet then again, it might be more amusing than ever, kind of like that joke that was hilarious at 3 AM isn't so funny a week later at the dinner table with your family. So we have been working on a house my parents bought and fixing it up...HOW DO WOMEN WORK FULL TIME? If I weren't working for my parents, I'd probably be fired for lack of motivation---I felt like I was walking circles today as I couldn't think of what I might do next (Have I ever said I have a short attention span? Church is a bear!) We have visited the Dr.'s three times in the last three weeks...we didn't see her over the summer so we thought it was time to start making our regular visits. The first time a cold (SO I was a bit paranoid...pnuemonia last year made me worry even more than normal!), second time ear infection(YEAH---something was actually wrong) and yesterday was making sure that Victoria didn't have an infection from the nail she stepped on last week and this morning I was greeted my PINK EYE from Victoria! My brother Matt topped it all though with Spinal Meningitis for a second time! Sheesh! And that my friends is why I hardly ever blog, can't think straight...I always thought it came from "motherhood", but seriously those who have known me fore years...be honest did I ever really have much sanity to start out with...Maybe I don't want to know that. DENAE you don't need to comment. Do you lose your brain as a mom? Or is it simply an excuse...what do you think?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
What's makes you you?
Okay, so I have thought a WHOLE lot about this for the last couple of months...and wondered what I have done with the crosses life has given to me (or through actions of my own I have created) and have I turned them into some kind of studwork for the mansion I am hoping to create out of my life....Too deep?
If you had to list the top things that were your so called "crosses to bear" what would they be and what have you done with them? I have thought about this a lot and for me ---this is more personal than I usually delve into on my blog ---but these would be the things and what I have done whether good or bad with them....you may already know these things but I will divulge them anyways...Mmmmh I do believe I am rambling.
Top one---of course my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---not my own choice of course, but has undoubtedly changed my life and who I am. Many people have no clue what "being Obsessive Compulsive" means, but it means that you don't ever have a day free of worry. You worry about everything from the way that your house is cleaned, to the way that your children appear. It is a constant---medications make it livable, but definatley not gone. Okay...so that's the downer....the upper is that I am a different person because of it---I have been able to discuss my disorder with many and found that they too suffered from it ---I have hopefully been able to help others not feel so alone in their trial. One of my biggest pet peeves about it though is that people use the term "OCD" so loosely---I am NOT talking about when they are like oh that's my OCD--ha ha ha---it's when the say "oh I used to have OCD"---it's not something that just goes and comes...it is a part of life. Okay...so OFF my soapbox on that.
The next would of course be "ERIK" ---other than saying it caused an emotional break down and was the most obsessive relationship of my life...it certainly was a cross to bear. It caused me to question everything I had believed and was. It was a choice of my own to date him, but the consequences struck me like nothing I had quite experienced before. It stole my innocence and taught me how the "world was". I won't delve further...I know it gave me compassion towards others who had been cheated on and emotionally abused and manipulated and I can only hope that I do well with this one.
Lastly---REALLY hope this isn't a "debbie downer" blog today----was when I was in college and my best friend's cousin was killed in a car wreck. I will spare all the details...but it gave me a run in with death closer than I had known before. The other deaths I had experienced up until this point all made sense...my grandpa was sick and elderly (or so I thought---I now know he was only 68 which is MUCH younger than I knew)---but this seemed to defy all I had previously known. Teenagers, and children weren't supposed to die. It consumed my heart in ways I still can't express, however since then I have had several close friends lose brothers, sisters, parents and even a child recently...and I feel/hope that I am not afraid to discuss death with people...as a result of having experienced this challenge.
Okay...so there it is...what helps me "me" ...now what makes you "you"-???? Feel free to
comment away after all this IS a loaded question!
UPDATE: FYI---think this was misinterpreted a bit--wasn't meant sacreligious...just should have titled it--what has changed and created who you are?
If you had to list the top things that were your so called "crosses to bear" what would they be and what have you done with them? I have thought about this a lot and for me ---this is more personal than I usually delve into on my blog ---but these would be the things and what I have done whether good or bad with them....you may already know these things but I will divulge them anyways...Mmmmh I do believe I am rambling.
Top one---of course my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---not my own choice of course, but has undoubtedly changed my life and who I am. Many people have no clue what "being Obsessive Compulsive" means, but it means that you don't ever have a day free of worry. You worry about everything from the way that your house is cleaned, to the way that your children appear. It is a constant---medications make it livable, but definatley not gone. Okay...so that's the downer....the upper is that I am a different person because of it---I have been able to discuss my disorder with many and found that they too suffered from it ---I have hopefully been able to help others not feel so alone in their trial. One of my biggest pet peeves about it though is that people use the term "OCD" so loosely---I am NOT talking about when they are like oh that's my OCD--ha ha ha---it's when the say "oh I used to have OCD"---it's not something that just goes and comes...it is a part of life. Okay...so OFF my soapbox on that.
The next would of course be "ERIK" ---other than saying it caused an emotional break down and was the most obsessive relationship of my life...it certainly was a cross to bear. It caused me to question everything I had believed and was. It was a choice of my own to date him, but the consequences struck me like nothing I had quite experienced before. It stole my innocence and taught me how the "world was". I won't delve further...I know it gave me compassion towards others who had been cheated on and emotionally abused and manipulated and I can only hope that I do well with this one.
Lastly---REALLY hope this isn't a "debbie downer" blog today----was when I was in college and my best friend's cousin was killed in a car wreck. I will spare all the details...but it gave me a run in with death closer than I had known before. The other deaths I had experienced up until this point all made sense...my grandpa was sick and elderly (or so I thought---I now know he was only 68 which is MUCH younger than I knew)---but this seemed to defy all I had previously known. Teenagers, and children weren't supposed to die. It consumed my heart in ways I still can't express, however since then I have had several close friends lose brothers, sisters, parents and even a child recently...and I feel/hope that I am not afraid to discuss death with people...as a result of having experienced this challenge.
Okay...so there it is...what helps me "me" ...now what makes you "you"-???? Feel free to
comment away after all this IS a loaded question!
UPDATE: FYI---think this was misinterpreted a bit--wasn't meant sacreligious...just should have titled it--what has changed and created who you are?
Monday, September 1, 2008
Top ten reasons I haven't blogged!
So it's been a couple of weeks and I haven't posted SQUAT! So here are my top ten reasons I haven't blogged (some are legit...some well...not so much!)
10. I was too busy documenting everything I ate on weight watchers! ( I lost nine pounds and still going...however I did manage to find two of those pounds!)
9. I was recovering for two weeks from my huge two day trip out West ALL by myself
8. I have been trying to eliminate from my body, the gas that leaked from our oven for a day and a 1/2 before my return home...my husband mistook it for the cat having a litter box problem! Whoops! Near death experience!
7. Victoria started 2nd grade and soccer the same week!
6. I have been too busy painting with Alyssa --My hidden talent
5. Hours of cleaning up imaginary cat urine from before stated gas leak! (not really but let's pretend)
4. Been too busy trying to figure out the (*&*&^* to put music on this thing and how to download my latest photos!
3. Working one day a week....intense I know
2. Reading everyone else's blogs!
and the number 1 reason I haven't blogged....
I HAD so many things to say I didn't know where to start!!!!!
Here are some updated pics of the kids!
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